Mirrors are Cursed
by whee XD
Summary: Neji broke the mirror one night and now he keeps switching souls with random people at random times. Pairings inside. Expect lots of Nejiluff :D
1. And thus it commences

NaruNeji…uh…various…uh. Well, Naruto x Whoever is occupying Neji's body.

* * *

"N – Naruto-kun…!"

Naruto stared.

And stared.

And stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared just for the heck of it.

…And stared.

Then he let out a squeak and fainted.

-

Neji Hyuuga was furious.

Well, as furious as he could be with Hinata's face…which was pretty furious looking because Hinata just didn't _have _that expression.

"Hinata-sa – AH!"

The poor maid who no one cared about ran out of Hinata's room, pier to her glare, faster than Chouji. Which was saying a lot because she was old and she was slow. And because no one cared, Hinata's glare drilled through her back and she screamed.

But such matters did not matter.

What _did_ matter was that Neji Hyuuga was in his cousin's body, in which said cousin was a girl. And it was _Hinata's_ for god's sake, just…ugh. Yes. Ugh. The foul sound escaped Hinata's mind and out to the world. This was going into world history, because Hinata did not _Ugh_.

…Yeah, fine, it's starting to sound wrong.

And so Hinata…Neji…Nejata grunted again and locked herself/himself in Hinata's room all day.

She should be glad he was not Jiraiya, Neji mused.

…Actually…

(Kidding.)

-

Meanwhile, Hinata walked out to the streets, humming softly to herself as she failed to realize that she currently occupied Neji's body. Not in that way.

She felt pretty good today. When she woke up, her hair was longer. It was all silky and soft, and it was a dark brown. Why it was brown she could not comprehend, but that did not matter. She'd caught Naruto-kun staring at Neji-nii-san's hair quite a lot, and it seemed like he was obsessed. So now that a similar style was on _her,_ maybe he'd notice…

She'd felt abnormal in the lower regions and her chest felt lighter, but she was not about to look even if it was her own body. Or so she thought… Anyways, when she went into the bathroom, she saw that the mirror was not there. That was awkward…she only remembered Neji-nii-san breaking the mirror accidentally yesterday (he was in a fit of anger…). And that was in Neji-nii-san's room, she doubted that he'd break hers…

After a moment of feeling a low sinking feeling in her chest, she peeked out cautiously.

There was no pink. No _colours_, it was so…dull and boring…

Her eyes widened.

LIKE ZOMG –

"Neji?"

A voice, gruff and off and uncontrolled rang into Hinata's ears where it became silk.

"Na...! N – Naru – _Naruto-kun!_"

Naruto looked at her like she had grown two heads. "Yeah. Hey, why are you blushing?" An eyebrow was raised, then eyes were widened. "And you just called me _Naruto-kun_!" His eyes then widened even more, to an impossible degree as more facts sank in, "And you were _stuttering!_"

Hinata felt her cheeks heat up even more than before. She was too busy thinking of the word 'Naruto' that she failed to realize her voice was deep. Very deep.

Naruto continued. "Oh my god, you _blushed_ and you _stuttered _and you're _shy _and your voice is _high_ – " He suddenly stopped.

Hinata was sure his eyes popped out of his sockets as he said his next word carefully.

"Neji."

Hinata titled her head in confusion.

"…Neji…?"

Just then, Naruto screamed.

And as realization finally sank in, Hinata screamed too.

* * *

Very, very short. Bad attempt at a cliff hanger. Not a one shot. I'm having too much fun writing this.

You know you want to review (…Or flame D: )


	2. The need for the bathroom

I prevailed.

And I also realize that I disabled anonymous reviews; rawr. Too bad faces don't show on here.

Er, whee, yeah. And just to be less confusing, I'm going to call whoever is in whoever's body their real name. For example, Hinata in Neji's body would be called Hinata, vice versa.

* * *

Hinata had fainted.

Naruto finally stopped screaming and noticed that Hinata had dropped unceremoniously to the ground. He stared, and stared, and stared and stared and – no you don't get the point yet! Well anyways, he stares. And stares more. And he stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared and stared just for the heck of it.

…And stared.

Doesn't this sound familiar?

Then he let out a squeak and fainted too.

On top of Hinata, of course.

-

Hinata woke up on a bed.

She sat up and it squeaked.

She shifted and it squeaked again.

Hinata thought it was amusing. She checked her surroundings – and realized that she had no idea where she was. She supposed it was okay; this place looked like a hospital, white sheets, white walls, white _everything_ – and she was sure that wherever she was, the place was currently vacant. Why a hospital would be empty she does not know.

Alas, all thinking must come to an end when the bed squeaked again.

Giggling the slightest bit, she bounced on it.

Low and behold, it squeaked yet another time, the sound echoing through the walls.

And so she bounced on it again.

-

Naruto woke up on the ground.

His head hurt – what had he been doing? He remembered eating ramen, laughing, then eating ramen and laughing, walking, eating ramen, walking and eating ramen, laughing, still eating ramen, still walking, finishing ramen and walking home to get more – then he had bumped into Neji who was actually Hinata and he had dreamed of ramen and Neji and eating ramen and Neji –

"Naruto!"

Naruto spun around. "Aa, Iruka-sensei!" He waved, grinned, and was planning to ask if he wanted ramen when he noticed the panicked expression on the other's face. They had a meaningful conversation after that went like this;

"What is it, Iruka-sensei?"

"." Pant, pant, catch breath, fail.

"…"

"." Pant, catching breath, opens mouth,

"…"

"." Pants again, closes mouth, pant, opens mouth, suck in too much air and chokes,

"…"

"." Finishes choking, looks up at Naruto, reaches out, trips, eats rocks.

"… . Well. Uh." Naruto says intelligently, in complete disconcert of what Iruka-sensei was doing. He then brightens up when Iruka-sensei had stopped moving, believing that he could now ask his question. "So, do you want ramen?"

-

The door burst open, and a frantic man in a green jumpsuit rushed in.

"**NEJI, MY YOUTHFUL STUDENT!**"

Hinata stopped bouncing on the bed and embarrassedly hung her head low in shame. Just then, she realized that she was Neji. She straitened up and tried to look menacing.

Gai-sensei merely looked at her. "Neji, your eye is unparallel in size and moving awkwardly along with your teeth!" He struck a pose. "MY DEAR STUDENT, YOU HAVE FINALLY MASTERED THE ART OF YOUTHFULNESS IN TWITCHING! LET THE EMOTION-SHOWING SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH SHOWER UPON YOU AT LAST!"

Apparently the act didn't work, as even with Neji's face she was unable develop a proper scowl. She went with smiling nervously, already giving up on being Neji-like. "G – Gai-sensei…I – I'm not…I – ! …N – Neji-nii-san is…" She started softly, and Gai-sensei failed to realize she had even spoken. He continued striking various poses and sparkled.

Hinata shrank back as far as she could. Her eyes were blinding from the pure _shininess _of Gai-sensei, and yet she was unable to look away. Her ears were also growing deaf, as Gai-sensei's speech seemed to be stuck on caps lock.

…_Caps lock…?_ She shrugged the thought off and nothing.

And suddenly.

There was a tingling sensation at her –

No.

No.

"NEJI, YOUR YOUTHFULNESS HAS INCREASED! WE MUST HURRY! I WAS BEGINNING TO WONDER WHY YOU NEVER WENT TO THE BATHROOM! HAHAHA! PURGING SUCH A WITHHELD LIQUID IS VERY YOUTHFUL!"

_No…_

* * *

Bah. Boringness. Very filler, though the whole fic is made of fillers. Possibly.

I fail to believe that Gai can talk gayer than he already does. Zomg, I even used bold. It had to come down to this…

And you _do_ see that pure and youthful purple button below this sentence, don't you? It is waiting for a delightful action…

Yeah, fine, just click it.


	3. The door of doom

Liek. Woah. I have more than two reviews O.O I must hail you all.

Recap just because it was probably confusing; Naruto faints on top of who other people would see as Neji, and Iruka-sensei is rushes to Naruto and fails in trying to tell him something. Meanwhile, Hinata finds the joys of squeaky beds. Gai-sensei rushes in and sees Neji giggling and bouncing on said bed, and he is very proud and tells him about youthfulness. Hinata is nearly deaf and blind, and it's only worse when she needs to 'purge withheld liquid'.

…I'll never do recaps again.

And. I have no excuses to this lateness. Yerh. Uh, I don't want to die yet.

* * *

Hinata nervously trailed after Gai-sensei to the bathroom. 

There it was; she suddenly felt smaller than she usually felt, and the door of the boys' washroom (which was completely equal to the girls' one in size) looked like a huge heavy gate, waiting for someone to push it and fall to their doom.

Gai-sensei, however, was unable to notice Hinata's obviously shaking form, as he merely grinned again and stepped aside. "GO ON, MY YOUTHFUL STUDENT! THOUGH YOU DO LOOK SLIGHTLY FEMMININE, THIS IS INDEED THE RIGHT DOOR TO PASS THROUGH!"

Hinata turned blue.

Gai-sensei shined and sparkled in his youthful glory.

Heads turned around curiously to stare and laugh.

Hinata gulped and walked forward…

-

The window was open and tempting.

Neji looked at Hinata's room one last time, and decided that he didn't really need the money that he stole. Shrugging, he left the coins in his pocket anyways, and jumped.

And this is the time that readers realize he was a ninja and ninjas do suicide jumps all the time.

And so, Neji landed safely on the ground and felt triumphant. He walked down and streets with his posture completely perfect, eyes narrowed, frown firmly in place and an air of arrogance around him.

A tingling sensation cramped at his…her lower regions…

…Well.

-

Naruto waited for Iruka-sensei's answer.

"Senseiiiii," He whined, "don't you want to eat ramen with me (and pay)?"

Iruka looked up warily. "How did you speak in brackets…? Ugh, nevermind." His face met the ground again, neck too tired to hold it up. "I have to tell you something first, though…"

Naruto was already halfway to eating his heavenly ramen, but he somehow heard what Iruka-sensei said anyways. "What?" He demanded, annoyed, toes itching to walk and eyes shifting away.

"I wanted to congratulate you…because…you…ugh…just, well, congratulations…"

"Okay." Naruto dismissed, now three quarters to the ramen store.

Iruka-sensei fell asleep while Naruto suddenly remembered that he was supposed to pay. Sorry. This whole part was a space filler. It wasn't even funny. Yeah.

-

"OH, NEJI!" Gai-sensei sparkled, "IT SEEMS YOU ARE UNABLE TO PUSH THIS DOOR!" His teeth shined and his eyes twinkled blindingly. "IT IS ALRIGHT! IN MY TIME OF YOUTH, I HAD ONCE BEEN THROUGH THE SAME PROBLEM ALSO! THESE DOORS DO LOOK QUITE MENACING, OH I WAS SO LITTLE BACK THAN!" Tears streamed down the side of his face.

"BUT ALL WILL BE FINE," Gai-sensei added, "AS I WILL HELP YOU PUSH OPEN THIS DOOR OF TRUTH!"

Hinata stared in frozen horror as Gai-sensei stepped closer to the door.

His hands were raised.

The palm drew closer, and closer, and…

"!EXCLAIMATIONMARKEXCLAIMATIONMARKEXCLAIMATIONMARKEXCLAIMATIONMARK!"

* * *

I know. Hinata took a whole entire chapter to go inside the washroom, and she didn't even touch it yet. I bet you're all disappointed. You don't even get to read about Neji going to the washroom. Oh nues. You must all hate me for the pure waste of time this chapter is. Hell, I wasted my own time by typing it. 

Review like zomg. And can someone tell me what the name of the ramen store is? I keep forgetting. Thanks.


End file.
